Winter’s Night

Yesterday was a sunny day, I had some Cascade 220 lying around, I didn’t want to think too much, and I had a delicious book to listen to, and it all worked out together.

For quite some time I have been eyeing the Sanquhar knitting patterns, which are attractive geometric designs with contrasting colors. I chose the traditional white and black (mine is really a cream and dark charcoal grey). I imagine these designs could be quite stunning in all sorts of colors. From the time I sat down with my needles, to the time I finished this hat, was about 5 hours. I was amazed at how quickly 110 stitches knit up, and how easy it was to memorize the pattern once it was set up.  The pattern used for this hat is called the “Duke” pattern, which is very pleasing to the eye.

If you are interested in learning a bit about Sanquhar knitting, you may visit the Future Museum, which has a wonderful collection of different samples of Sanquhar patterned clothing.  If you would like to read about making gloves using the pattern used in Winter’s Night, take a look at tata-tatao.

I guess I can focus again.  Yesterday I made a hat.  And my husband looks great in it!

Perspective

These past few months I feel I have been drowning in a sea of stress, most of which has been precipitated by external events.  The main event was the springtime RIF (reduction in force), which in education is becoming an annual event.  This pushed me to take the CBEST, which is the “California Basic Educational Skills Test.”  I did this to add to my credential – but until I get a job in any one of my qualifying areas, I’ve just got a letter stating I am qualified.  I added eight adult subjects.  All this took up most of January and some of February, with my attending classes every weekend until I took the test.  The Ides of March date for RIFs (in California) passed me by, but over 200 colleagues in a district with 900 teachers received RIFs.  The final notice date will not be until May 15th; the classified will know on April 30th.  While my period of employment / no employment has passed, others are still in line.

Stress takes its toll.  Blood pressure rises, sleep becomes overwhelmingly desired or impossible, depression and a sense of helplessness are constant companions.  Fatigue makes functioning a challenge at times; for me, this fatigue is mental.  The making of a decision is hard.  To focus on one thing is elusive as restlessness causes me to pick something up, and then put it down.  Reading, moving, thinking, doing, accomplishing are too much effort even though I know that once I start actually doing them, and determined to finish them, much of that hill of inertia begins to disappear.  However, that hill is really a Mt. Everest in size.

Perspective, though, does make an opening through all of this.  I am not as bad off as some, and certainly worse off than others.  I know what I want to do, and I know how positive completing something – reaching a milestone, putting another step forward – is.

All this came together for me when I read Kate Davies’ current post on her blog Needled.  She suffered a sudden, unexpected stroke several weeks ago.  Reading her writings of her life post-stroke are painful and inspiring, a solid reminder of the fragility of our own daily existence, as well as our ability, and need, to move beyond the current limitations of life, whether physical, mental, emotional, circumstantial.  Today’s post, invisible metaphors, spoke of many things and works she was reading.  Kate requested input for reading material, and that is when I remembered this poem I read in my teens, found in an old schoolbook of my father’s, that has provided a light in the darkness for me over the years.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

–William Ernest Henley

Human history continues, individually and collectively.  Perspective can shift attitude.  “Fake it ’til you make it.”  Pandora’s box.  1 Corinthians 13.  Viktor Frankl.

Forget this, and all may be lost.

Basic Beret: Creating a Top-Down Beret, v

For the last couple of weeks knitting has wandered in and out of my day, along with my sourpuss attitude. This latter has, I hope, been vanquished, even if temporarily.

I’ve been really frustrated by this pattern, so decided to try it from the bottom up. And, it began to make sense. The pattern has changed rather considerably, but the lacy mock cable and top down construction remain. I’m not doing as many cables – considerably less. Where I had planned a number of cables, I am now using simple a line of knit stitches on a purl background. All knit stitches are now knit through the back loop except for a couple, which will be seen in the pattern.

The most interesting element is just how much simpler the pattern is, and so much easier to knit as it grows more organically once a certain level is reached in the stitch increases.

Buh-sgetti

This just sums it up! Whoever took this picture must have had so much fun setting up and taking it!

Anyhow . . . this really expresses how I’m feeling. Everything is totally chaotic. Work wants me to have more students, but the law has changed so that’s not going to be possible next year. This means doing the impossible, unless we get the law changed. It’s all about money – short term vs. taking the time – allowing the time -for a long term return on the investment of time. But do bean counters understand that? Not likely.

And then there are projects. Knitting projects. PHP and MySQL project. Painting projects. Reading projects. Gardening projects.

Sheesh. Whadda mess.

Painting Day, 03-13-2010

A Bit of Frustration

The other day I pulled out watercolors and paper – you saw the results in my last post.  Yesterday I spent most of the day painting. Suffice it to say that the watercolors were a total disaster – my impatience, as always, got in the way. Or, from another perspective, when it comes to watercolors, the paper is not absorbent like xuan, and as a result, I cannot be as spontaneous and as controlled with the brush at the same time. For me, I think my best results in watercolor come when I am far less impetuous, and thinking more graphically. Happy splattering never occurs for me with sized paper! So, after feeling frustrated (but still in a painting mood) I pulled out my large table of rice paper (12 x 18 inches) and a bottle of Japaneses sumi ink.

Moving from watercolor – wait, patience, think – I messed up a few sheets of the rice paper. My ink was not loaded into the brush, just solid black. My brush choice was poor. My attitude was pretty crappy after a disastrous watercolor experience, and it showed. Still, that energy also started to mellow out – I love the feel of ink and paint on absorbent paper! Finally, a few kinks worked out, I set about to using just the ink itself, and sometimes coupled it with the washes I’d made using my Pelikan pan paints.

Three Out of Four Gentlemen Show Up

To warm up, I used a large, soft brush and a finer, coarse hard brush. I did the plum. The large brush was loaded with a lot of light grey wash, and then the tips were slightly covered in dark black ink.

The next painting was the orchid. For this one I took out a large hard brush and loaded it with ink. This was for the leaves. I then used a medium choryu brush (soft on the outside with hard hair in the center) for the orchid flowers. I used the small hard brush for the orchid centers.

For the bamboo, I took the large, soft brush, again loaded with ink. I used it filled in different ways to get the four stalks. On one of the bamboo, I went in with just a solid wash, and came back later with a darker wash, doing thin strips down the left side. The joints in the bamboo stalks was done with the small, hard brush; I used this same brush for the bamboo leaves.

Palm Trees in Sumi-e

When I looked back over the logs for this blog, I realized with a bit of horror how much time has passed since I received a request for palm trees painted with sumi. I apologize for that, but unfortunately my life got too busy for such endeavors. So, here, at least are some palm trees.

I am not an expert in palm trees, so any mistakes here are my own as far as determining what kind of palm is what. Given that, let’s proceed.

The first thing I always notice about a palm tree is the trunk. Some are smooth, some rough. Coconut palm trees seem to be tall and smooth, with leafier, more graceful fronds. Date palms have thicker trunks with an obvious roughness where palm fronds have fallen off. The fronds tend to be stiffer and less flexible than those of the coconut palm. What they do have in common, though, is the way in which the serrated areas of the frond meet at the center. This gives a clear line in the middle which seems to have a space between it and the serrated areas. If you look at pictures of palm trees, you will see what I mean. To paint them means leaving that gap there, or using a very fine line to connect to it, and then using a steady sweep of the brush, much like you would do with an orchid leave. Pushing down on the brush – smooshing it – creates the wrong impression of the frond. However, you can turn the brush and create bent areas – palm fronds are pretty messy. A hard, dry brush is really good for expressing the ragged edges of some of the serrated “leaves” in the frond.

This is a palm frond, done first to consider how to do the structure of the frond itself. I used some of the colors from my pan paints as well, mixing it with different dilutions of ink.

This next one is from a picture of a coconut palm. The trunk was done with my choryu brush, loaded with a light and medium ink, and tipped in black. I laid the brush sideways, and did a quick stroke for the entire trunk. I then came in with the small, hard brush for the texture found at the base of the trunk and into the trunk itself. I used the choryu brush for the center lines of the fronds and for some of the paler frond leaves. I used my large, hard brush for the darker dry brush fronds. Before dipping it into the ink, I spread out the bristles, and then dipped only the ends into the ink, keeping the brush perpendicular to the ink. I painted the frond leaves the same way, using a quick flick while doing the best to avoid any pause on the paper. As the brush lost its load of ink, this became easier.

The next palm is a date palm. Its trunk is considerably coarser than that of the coconut palm, and its fronds are stiffer and messier. They were all over the ground around the palm tree in the photo I used as a reference. To paint the trunk I used dabs of medium ink, and then began using various loading combinations of light / medium / dark. I ended with the hard brush and undiluted dark ink. For the fronds, I used much the same approach as I did with the coconut palm, but worked to make sure I caught the more upright and clustered qualities of the fronds, as well as the shorter leaves along the frond itself.

Maple Trees with Chinese Paints

With all my washes from the watercolor painting excursion exhausted, but still in a mood to paint, I found a picture of some maple trees in Vermont, brilliant in their autumn foliage. I used the bottled sumi ink for the trunks, and then used yellow, orange, and red from my box of Marie’s Chinese colors. You can see how opaque they are in comparison to the Pelikan paints. I diluted the colors in some areas, mixed them together, smooshed them around. Other areas will show you the individual colors as dabs. Different layers from red-to-yellow can be found, as well as orange or yellow or red on top of everything else.

Altogether, I had a fun day painting. The best paintings are those done in sumi-e. I really like the palm trees and the frond, more so than the orchid, bamboo, or plum. The texture of the plum trunk was enjoyable to do, but the blossoms are too blotchy – you can see where the paint plopped down and spread. I must admit, too, that I find pictures I have done with Marie’s paints never satisfy me – the colors are too garish. I do know, though, that Teacher does lovely stuff with them, and when I work hard at it, I can produce paintings which appeal to me.

My own approach to sumi-e and Chinese painting is certainly influenced by being trained in Western art. I find my best connection is with sumi ink, brush, and paper, and feel it is closest to my own personality. Still, the mastery of watercolor is one of those lifetime goals, and for me, my best results are when I employ patience and thought, which is very different than immediate results of sumi painting.