-N- – Page 692 – Ink, Yarn & Beer

The Ethics of Absolutes

Yesterday someone asked me if people should always report things they think are unethical or wrong.

Given who asked me this, it really was not a surprising question. This person is an extremist, absolutist in almost every situation which occurs. The words always and never are the boundaries of existence. No compromise. Take no enemies. Win.

What happens when you live life like this? I don’t think you can experience joy. I also think that people like this are intrinsically unhappy and have a poor sense of the I and the thou. I know this person has few friends, and the few who are willing to befriend have to put up with a lot of crap.

Life is a series of adaptations and negotiations. What benefits me will benefit you. What benefits you will benefit me. We both win.

In politics, moderates and “evil” liberals look to compromise. In totalitarian regimes, the people in power are right, and the rules are ones they make, and they are always correct. In far right politics, there is only one way to do things, which is the way of that rightist, and everyone else is wrong, and budge thou shalt not, even if everything else goes to hell and comes to a screeching halt and people die. Win!

Questions like this never cease to fascinate and trouble me. Mulling them over takes time. People who are so extreme are very brittle – rattle their world and they blow up. They just cannot adapt gracefully, but struggle and fight the process of change. For them, compromise and understanding of another’s reality is not in their Survival Handbook. To do so is to admit failure, to be unsuccessful, to lose, be defeated, to have no personal power.

We all need to have boundaries, take a stance every now and then, stick to our guns on some things to survive – but an inability to adapt to daily fluctuations is disastrous in terms of interpersonal relationships. It’s a lifetime of failure and a slow death of the self as good and wonderful.

Experiencing such people can be toxic if you do not see it. I don’t most of the time.

When I encounter such people, I wonder about my own values and think I must be amoral as I am not adamant, do not have a strong sense of right and wrong, and am laissez-faire about most things. Yes, there are times when I have strong opinions – but I don’t expect the world to frog march to my outlook.

My locus of control is internal. I know that I can let those with the ethics of absolutes rule my life – or not. Freeing myself from their poison is hard, but necessary. I pity them, resent them for the hell they cause, but emerge with yet another perspective of human nature, and hopefully a bit more adept at recognizing them before I even encounter them so I can take a path to avoid them.

Lazy me.

Cost vs. Benefit

In medicine, treatment is often considered on a cost vs. benefit to the patient. If the patient benefits overall, the cost of the treatment – financially, emotionally, physically – may be worth it. What might be beneficial at 25 may not be seen as such from the age of 75.

There are people in this world who add to the quality of our lives by who they are and what they do. Everyone of us has someone who has given to us far more than we can ever repay. This can be in terms of support, nurturance, friendship, and so many other ways the list would be endless. In our turn, we give to others, and we will never know how much we have given them simply because measuring such things is impossible.

There are also people who do nothing but take, demand, and take some more. There is no thought about the damage they inflict; many seem to enjoy inflicting it. These people are destructive. They are severely damaged, whether because of what they have experienced, inherited as body chemistry, or have done to themselves. The benefit of such people is learning to recognize them, but the cost of learning it may be far greater than the benefit. But, without these evil, psychological vampires, we would not be able to appreciate the good!

This is where those who have given us gifts – and who still give to us – are of such great benefit. Their support is a community of good. Small gifts, such as a pat on the back, are far larger than their physical appearance. They sustain and nurture.

At times, when the going is difficult, a conscious consideration of the good vs. the evil around is necessary. It is also a challenge. The cost of evil is great – but the benefit in learning about it and recognizing our blessings can far exceed the turmoil evil creates.

Craziness

Busy crazy and crazy people. I won’t moan on about the latter – the mere fact I even have to deal with them wears me out. However, busy crazy can be fun. This weekend was not really creatively productive in any way that I wanted it to be, but it was really nice because I got out with friends and family, and was able to spend a lovely, sunny day outdoors most of Saturday. I got sunburned, and now sport some tan lines. Today it is damp and grim, the “May Grey” is spread over Ventura county, from the coast to 30 or more miles inland. Ugh!

My turquoise pencil set got thrown to the wayside on Wednesday with a crisis. This kind of stuff makes me really restless, so outdoors and exercise was a good relief. The pencils will get packed up again, and on a break or at lunch, I promise to use them. I have nearly finished my Noro shawl, which I hope to put into a pattern format in the next week or two. I am also starting a slouch beret with some Noro sock yarn, which is coming along rather nicely. And, I also played with some pictures in Photoshop, Lightroom, as well as did some analytical studies on DOF and hyperfocus. Not a satisfying weekend with a peaceful feeling leading into Monday’s workday, but a sense of accomplishment in some areas.

Yucca Flowers with Bleach Bypass Filter in Lightroom 3

I really like the results of this preset. And finally, the last of my tulips – the petals are all falling off. These flowers have been like friends all week – I’ve watched them move from closed buds to wide open flowers, and have been entranced by their simple beauty. It is sad to see them leave.

I hope this next week doesn’t make me crazy . . .

Turquoise

This morning I was going through a number of the blogs I enjoy reading. One is Cole Wardell’s. When I got there, since my last visit, she had a fun display of her art supplies. Pencils encased in wood! Watercolors! A knife!

On my desk, I have a container of Prismacolor medium pencils for drawing, still unsharpened. Now all have points. They will come with me to work, and this will be my creative project focal point for today. In between whatever I do, I will get something done with these pencils, if only to remember what it is like to have one in my hand for something other than writing out notes.

Scheduled

When you work, it is hard to find time to do things you really want to do. At least it is for me. I’m a morning person. I go to work in the morning, and when I get home, I tend to be really tired. I am not a night owl! I get a lot done in the mornings – when I have them. Consequently, as a result of my re-thinking my life the other day, I have simply decided I will schedule something – anything – creative for after work. It may not be a lot. It may be a lot. That will depend on my energy, and my interest. Today I’m feeling rather burnt out, but I did make a commitment to myself. And I kept it, even though the desire is to just go floppo.

I’ve been thinking of what to do that is creative all day. In a way, it is really stimulating because there is an element of the unknown until the point of beginning arrives. Getting home, I thought about what I was feeling. I thought about how that feeling might be expressed. The feeling I focused on was “blue” – which, in general, means depressed or melancholy. Melancholy, today, is more accurate for today’s round of the blues.

Today is cold and wet and damp. Work was long and intense. I have an underlying dread about work lately – probably budget-related – but this dread is very abstract because I cannot pinpoint anything specific – maybe just the unknowns that are waiting to happen. This abstract fear and feeling blue put two things together. How can an abstract fear be expressed visually? How can melancholic blues be expressed?

Well, I don’t know if either really can be, but the mental trip was quite fun. What in the spectrum constitutes “blue”? Blue-green? Blue-violet? Bluish reds? Green blue? So what could I find that was abstract, something I could photograph (I chose that route because I am feeling lazy, and more think-y than do-ing) that is not identifiable. Here it is below:

Abstract, a kind of blue. Nothing clearly discernable. An ill-defined horizon. A lonely object. Blurry, fuzzy things without definition. Is this art? Dunno. The process of getting here was interesting, as is the writing up and thinking about the process itself. Conscious exploration of an abstraction opens the doors of creativity.