Author: -N-

Me and My Coloring Book

Me and My Coloring Book

I picked this up at the store the other day. There are a lot of books out there, and apparently groups and so on, for coloring book colorers. Fiddling with your hands is a great stress reducer, but at the same time, I know that while I color away, I am beginning to think about the juxtapositioning of colors – analogous, complementary, triads. Oh, boy!

I am also knitting socks. And now the iron is available. I even did some exercises this morning. I must be nuts. And, it feels good!!

Reconsiderations and Musings

I haven’t posted in a long time, and in my opinion, the quality of my postings has declined quite a bit.  The reason for this, in retrospect, is because the quality of my life, as I see it, has declined.  With a grueling work schedule that left little time to think or enjoy life, it was in inevitable.  At two points, I was ready to walk away from my job and into retirement, without notice – just “I’m done!” and a 180 degree turn.

There is Nothing Here

Well, that didn’t happen.  Instead, compromise:  my Wednesdays end at 3:30 instead of 6:30.  And that has done the trick.  Interestingly, it has taken me about 8 weeks to adjust to this change.   It was almost as if I had to get to know myself again.  The first two weeks I was really argumentative, as if all my contained frustration had to come spilling out.  Later, it was total self-indulgence – the pleasure of not doing anything, of being irresponsible.  I think I needed to soak up freedom and look at my new open space of time.  Little as that addition of time has been, I no longer feel as if I am living in a complete black box, lost in space, four days out of seven.  Mere existence is hell . . . how do people in solitary confinement do?  I would be dead, I am sure.

After emerging from this chrysalis of newfound time, my desires are once more moving outward.  Escapism is rather over, and exploration and enquiry into the world around me is returning.  I have been visiting friends, accepting social invitations, and taking up new challenges to creativity . . . and being ready and open to them all.  Being locked into non-existence 4 days out of 7 oozed into the other 3 . . . and now existence is oozing back into all days of the week.

Consequently, this has been a year of stagnation and extinction.  Stealing time in my own life is not pleasurable, but degrading because work degraded my life.  Functioning, sure, but living? thriving? enjoying?  Not at all.

And I plan to change that.  The goal is simple – even minimal – but the goal is to have something creative in my hand everyday.  This can be coloring in a coloring book, to sewing or knitting, to photography, to taking some kind of workshop, to hiking.  In other words, a return to the world around me, away from a vortex of nothingness.

It is my hope to log this journey more clearly here at Ink, Yarn & Beer.