I don’t know if you experience this, but it seems to be a common theme. Once you know that you have vacation ahead, you realize just how tired you are! Tired of work, tired of the people you work with, and just plain tired! With retirement coming up, I am even more frustrated by my job and its hours, some of the silly things that occur. I am also tired of some of the people and looking forward to not being around them. That’s life, and change is good, as are the constants in daily life. Look for your blessings every day – I really believe this, and try to do it, without losing perspective, either.
Last weekend 11 trees were trimmed and pruned; 5 were completely removed. For the first time in years, the back half of the house has daylight, not artificial, as a main light source. I bought a plant to see how it will do, between the dogs and the poor soil. (Poor plant!) It’s a penstemon, which is drought-tolerant. It’s a lovely, cheerful flower. I put it under the dogs’ noses to let them smell it, and then told them “bad”. Let’s see how it survives!
In addition to dealing with tree removal and pruning, I have been in a real funk about my painting. After a disastrous series of watercolors, I just put everything aside for about a week. Still, I did other things, like go for walks and continue to recover from the house renovation by moving things here and there and unpacking more boxes. All this upheaval! It’s a slow process, but it’s getting done. Of course, there are still a million other things I could delude myself into doing as “necessary” – which really are, but not vital to my existence!
So, after a week of blithering and dithering and feeling like a lost soul, I sat down, once more, in the studio. I took out a large palette of colors (the key to which is still missing), and decided to do some flowers in vases. I like flowers, so it seemed a perfect subject. I worked in the main color areas first – after doing a line drawing, but no value study (a habit I need to establish) – top to bottom. After that, I looked some more. And some more. Then I began to add details, all the while working very hard to think ahead and in the present at the same time. I produced two paintings I liked.
And finally, I had a Friday afternoon. Watercolor class or just do what I wanted? I chose the latter. Doing what I wanted was more interesting and more challenging and more needed than anything else. Into the car, down to an art store, down to the nursery, and finally the bookstore. I bought 4 paint brushes, 1 penstemon, 2 watercolor magazines and 3 books. I drank a cup of coffee. Finally, some time of my own, some time to think, and some time to recover from this sense of ennui that has been my companion for many days. Yay!

