retirement – Ink, Yarn & Beer

Worthy of My Time and Attention

Retirement is hog heaven . . .

A friend of mine, Stef, said it took her about two years to “settle into herself” after retirement. I believe it!

People wonder how you fill your day before you retire. The truth is, you just do. Sometimes you fill it with activities, and other days you sit down and do not a lot more than loll. For me, being goal-oriented, I feel like I must accomplish something (what is that something??), but I also am quite capable of just doing nothing. Rushing to do things takes away from time to listen to that inner voice of the self which provides insight, calm, and direction. I know I need both.

Oddly, I find I need the company of others more than I used to as well! At work, I always had someone in my face – a student, colleague, whatever – or something to be done – attendance, paperwork, class prep. Now, there are me, my husband, and the dogs for regular company, which, at times, is not enough. Given my desire for other people, I talk to friends and family, connect for lunch, go for hikes. I am in a few Meetup groups and have one of my own, which has been dormant for about a year – time to resurrect it.

Now, I have things to do, places to go, and people to see. Choices need to be made and sifted through daily as to the “agenda.” I have some things I have settled into as routine – getting up, cleaning up myself and the dishes, editing a daily photo in black and white for my 365 Silent Project (missed it a few times). At times there are appointments or pre-planned activities. I want to paint or draw daily, but that has been a bit – haha – sketchy of late. I like to watch about an hour of TV at night before going to bed.

The key word here is value. What is valuable to me today? What is worth my time and attention? Retirement is an adventure that is shaking up a lot of my ideas and solidifying others – and it is fun and tedious at the same time.

Completed!

There are so many little things that need to be done for finalization of retirement! I have a stack of paper and publications about 10″ deep. So many things to read and to think about . . . but finally, the Social Security is arriving, the pension is arriving, and the supplemental insurance for Medicare is in place – I got my card today! Pretty much everything I figured I would choose has worked out nicely. The benefits manager in my school district has done a great job, too, not just for me, but many other retirees. She brought in representatives from our medicare supplemental plan as well as an expert in such. The ones available through the district are quite good. The process, for me at least was easy – I just rolled over everything I had as an employee into my Medicare plan, as I had originally planned.

According to many sources, Americans are ill-prepared for retirement. Most do not have pensions or savings or investments, and for many, their Social Security check is their primary and only source of income. US News reports that the average Social Security benefit was $1,461 per month in January 2019. That is not a lot, at least in my neck of the woods. I certainly couldn’t rent a 1-bedroom apartment for that! Dave Ramsey has some interesting comments about how much people close to retirement have saved, the amount of debt they have, and how the lifetime pensions of 50 years ago no longer exist. I consider myself fortunate in that I have both a pension and adequate Social Security, and enough to get a good supplemental plan as well.

Health care is a major cost factor for many people. If you are healthy, you don’t really think about the fact you could get seriously ill or have an accident that changes your life. In this country, it’s a travesty in many situations. We are a capitalist society which means we are all commodities; however, we are commodities that are only good until broken. In other words, disposable – just like much of what we buy. Health care and support of those who are members of society is necessary to ensure future generations, and the generations who have contributed to society, prosper and thrive. The stinginess of our politics about health care never ceases to amaze me. Having worked in the industry for a lot of my adult life, I have been fortunate, but many others have not had the luxury.

Social programs benefit many people and help keep bigger problems from developing. Child care, access to health care regardless as to income, education, fire and police, roads are some of the social program that benefit society – some we have, many we do not. Our ideas are of the rugged individual, the person who “pulls himself up by his boot straps” are so fallacious. We all depend on each other in many ways, but our historical fear of communism and socialism and worship of capitalism, along with our Wild West mentality that there is always something better over the next hill, prevents us from embracing our neighbors. Too often these days it is all about ME, not you, not us. A society as self-centered as ours is becoming is at peril of drowning in its egocentricity.

The First Day of Retirement

Well, what better day to retire than April Fool’s Day? I thought it was a great idea, so at the end of January I submitted my paperwork, and today I get paid to do nothing related to work. Social security, my pension, and Medicare are all lined up. And now, my new life begins!

Today, I was taken out to lunch to celebrate! I also have been deciding a “class” I want to take. I’ve decided to study the exercises in a book on perspective for painters, so it covers not just the vanishing point varieties (one, two, and three dot), but also perspective based on colors. Tomorrow, I begin!

Besides studying perspective, I have also been painting and drawing and sewing and making pictures with both digital and film cameras. I finished my little quilt. I’ve scanned photos and edited them. I have been out to the local botanical garden and begun a sketchbook about the garden in spring. Visiting family and friends and doing fun things is also part of the program . . . I don’t think I will be bored too often, but I might over extend myself.

Here are some things I’ve been doing . . . but no pictures of the quilt – that is a later post.

A New Job

With the official retirement date of April Fool’s Day, I have been rethinking a lot of what I do and want to do. Being retired is really like taking on a new job. You have to figure out what is important, what is not important, and instead of someone directing your daily traffic, you are the one who has to make the decisions. Of course, the daily chores of living set up a schedule in a way, but what if you just decide not to pay attention to them? I think – I know – my life would totally fall apart! I like my dishes and laundry done, bills paid, and a clean and ordered living environment – especially my studio – but I also want to have the room to be messy and creative. That is really my new job: what to do with my free time.

And what do I want to do? I am finding my priority is painting and drawing. These are my longest and deepest loves, ever since I can remember. Philosophical battles wasted a lot of my time; rather than just doing things, I thought about their values. These values were really external ones – who will value what I do? In the end, it really doesn’t matter because I am not painting or drawing for an audience other than me. That said, I also want to schedule – yes, schedule! – time for reading, writing, photography, socializing, sewing, spinning, knitting, baking, gardening, some travel. Everyone says my time will be really easy to fill. I had my doubts, but no more.

Having a return-to-work date from medical leave prior to the retirement decision kept these thoughts at bay. Now, the world is wide open. Enjoying retirement is my new job, one to cherish. It’s like being a kid again, really! The summer – however long it is now – without school – lies ahead.

Time

Since I put in my resignation and applied for my retirement funds, an interesting shift in viewpoint or perspective has occurred. I’ve been out on medical leave since last summer, and always had a return date for work. First it was in January 2019, and then the last day of March 2019. (Nothing fatal, just a health situation that is taking a bit longer to “fix” than originally thought, and as I was planning to retire in July of this year, I just moved things up.)

There were “return to work” dates in my head. Having those dates is very different than having a seemingly infinite time that retirement provides. No schedule, no obligations to a job – just my life.

I feel as if I am standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon – which I have done from different vantage points – and the experience is heady and scary! The bottom of the Grand Canyon is a long way down – and the view to the other rim is miles and miles away. The river is to be traveled. The sky is vast and filled with stars and clouds and songbirds and ravens and raptors. What adventures await? That is up to me to decide as much as is in my power.

The freedom is the most exciting part – the freedom to choose to do something or not do something. The freedom to be lazy, to read, to take a walk, to have lunch with a friend, to chat on the phone, to write, to paint, to draw, to do photography, to dig holes in the yard (that has to wait – too much rain!), to shop, to bake, to cook, to sew, to design, to think, to live, to wait, to plan, to anticipate.

All of this is sprawled out like a puddle of water, an ocean, moving into nooks and crannies that have been ignored in face of the 10-11 hour work day when the only options are get up, drink coffee, have breakfast, get washed and dressed, drive to work, work, shove lunch in my face while I work, work some more, drive home, have dinner, clean up after dinner, go to bed.

Don’t get me wrong – I enjoyed my job, but I was tired of the lack of time for myself, to be with family and friends, tired of feeling every moment in my life belonged to someone or something else (the job, my students, my responsibilities at work) or spent on the daily chores of living (dishes, cleaning, bills, budgeting). To savor anything personal had a pressure on it to do it quickly and efficiently so there would still be time for another activity. Personal relationships were nearly impossible to maintain, even at home. I think my health also suffered because of 5 years of this crazy schedule – so I got to practice for retirement with medical leave and enjoy some time of my own.

And now, I own my time except for what my biological clock and fate has in store for me. It’s something I treasure every day.