adaptation

Technology is taking over so much of our lives during this whole Covid-19 pandemic. Some of it is great, some is not so great. We won’t get into political meddling and hacking here, which really is fake news anyway! Instead, let’s look at how technology is at least keeping us all from living in isolation and ignorance, like troglodytes in a cave.

First off, let’s look at teleconferencing and meetings and phone calls. Being retired at just the right time, I don’t have to deal with converting classroom materials into online resources for free, that is, being expected to write curriculum on my own time. Many teachers I know are doing this, and the truth is, the amount of time they put in would cost a district far more than they would want to pay – that is, in the K-12 arena. While I am a proponent of in-class and in-person teaching, this virus precludes it from being realistic. Sadly, not everyone and every place has good internet connections, and not everyone can afford a computer or tablet, much less parents who can help. It’s just not realistic. But in the private realm, the TV-like qualities let us see family and friends face-to-face and enjoy their company. It helps, but does not replace in-person contact.

Besides phone calls and virtual medicine, I am entering into the new age with signing up for a virtual classroom this fall to continue the pastels class which was interrupted by the lockdown across the state of California. I have no idea how well it will go. The instructor struggled with the overhead projector, so I hope she is getting good training for the class. I know I would need it as I really don’t like that kind of stuff, particularly if I am expected to learn it on my own without pay. This was a hallmark of my school – you should be happy to donate your money and time to our students! (Yes, I was actually told that, but as an hourly employee, I expect to get paid – salaried would be a different story!) Back to the classroom. Other people I know have done this, and the results vary from person, teacher, etc. I’ll give it a shot.

Next, if you cannot teleconference, or don’t want to, you can meet in person. Social distancing does work, and it also helps to relieve the sense of isolation that builds with not having valuable time with people you like face-to-face. 3D is very important when it comes to people, I think! I like being around people. So, I am taking a chance and meeting up later this morning for a portrait drawing class in a park, on picnic tables, wearing a mask, bringing my alcohol spray and wipes, and settling down 6 feet apart. The weather is fine this morning, a bit misty, but is should burn off by the time class begins. I don’t think the risk is greater than going to the market. How people behave will determine if I go again.

However, not all education cannot be held outdoors or online! Where I live, outdoors is more do-able, but in the heat of the Arizona desert or in the blizzards of Frostbite Falls, MN, not so easily done. As we move along in this new world, we will find new ways of doing things. It is challenging and creative, as well as annoying and dispiriting. Human contact is important, and some of us need more and some need less. As a retired person, my world is now severely limited and human contact is usually going to the market. It is creating a level of mild depression, and that is not something that is easily dealt with at times.

This is why I am taking the risk of an outdoor drawing class – an activity with others, others with a shared interest. Before the pandemic, I had rejoined my photo club and weavers guild, started pastels and pencil portrait classes, and so on. Then, a screeching halt. A few months of isolation is okay, but months and months begins to wear you down. We all need to decide how to adapt to our new times. We take classes, connect outdoors with those we love, exercise, whatever – but in the end, I really believe we all need face-to-face human contact. At least I have that opportunity and access to good technology (and an IT guy for a spouse to help), and a willingness to try new things. And a willingness to risk it with sensible precautions.

The Ethics of Absolutes

Yesterday someone asked me if people should always report things they think are unethical or wrong.

Given who asked me this, it really was not a surprising question. This person is an extremist, absolutist in almost every situation which occurs. The words always and never are the boundaries of existence. No compromise. Take no enemies. Win.

What happens when you live life like this? I don’t think you can experience joy. I also think that people like this are intrinsically unhappy and have a poor sense of the I and the thou. I know this person has few friends, and the few who are willing to befriend have to put up with a lot of crap.

Life is a series of adaptations and negotiations. What benefits me will benefit you. What benefits you will benefit me. We both win.

In politics, moderates and “evil” liberals look to compromise. In totalitarian regimes, the people in power are right, and the rules are ones they make, and they are always correct. In far right politics, there is only one way to do things, which is the way of that rightist, and everyone else is wrong, and budge thou shalt not, even if everything else goes to hell and comes to a screeching halt and people die. Win!

Questions like this never cease to fascinate and trouble me. Mulling them over takes time. People who are so extreme are very brittle – rattle their world and they blow up. They just cannot adapt gracefully, but struggle and fight the process of change. For them, compromise and understanding of another’s reality is not in their Survival Handbook. To do so is to admit failure, to be unsuccessful, to lose, be defeated, to have no personal power.

We all need to have boundaries, take a stance every now and then, stick to our guns on some things to survive – but an inability to adapt to daily fluctuations is disastrous in terms of interpersonal relationships. It’s a lifetime of failure and a slow death of the self as good and wonderful.

Experiencing such people can be toxic if you do not see it. I don’t most of the time.

When I encounter such people, I wonder about my own values and think I must be amoral as I am not adamant, do not have a strong sense of right and wrong, and am laissez-faire about most things. Yes, there are times when I have strong opinions – but I don’t expect the world to frog march to my outlook.

My locus of control is internal. I know that I can let those with the ethics of absolutes rule my life – or not. Freeing myself from their poison is hard, but necessary. I pity them, resent them for the hell they cause, but emerge with yet another perspective of human nature, and hopefully a bit more adept at recognizing them before I even encounter them so I can take a path to avoid them.

Lazy me.

Disruptions and Adaptations

My brother moved in with us about a month ago. The reasons why are unimportant here, but what is important is finding ways to adapt to the disruptions in the daily life of Josh and me. Our privacy is definitely less, and while my brother makes a very small footprint, there is still the fact of another person living in our house. This means doors normally opened all the time are now closed. Conversations are carried on more discreetly if necessary. My studio now has someone sleeping in it, so reading the news online at 5:30 a.m. is out of the question unless I boot up the antique notebook. Josh telecommutes, so this means that his office cannot have someone living in it, especially if he needs to start work in the wee hours of the morning.

For me, morning hours before getting ready for work are my time. Coffee, news. Now, it is coffee . . . and?? Knitting, reading. No email. No news. We don’t have television, but I would not want to listen to it in the first place because it would be noise. Maybe I should take a walk, but that would mean getting dressed. Just the silence of the morning is wonderful, and in the summer, the birds and squirrels are delightful companions – except for the past several days, the morning is a thick, dripping fog!

Knitting is happening, but I haven’t gotten into painting at all for the last month. I think I will begin to do it again – now that we are all adjusting to one another. There just has to be a sense of comfort to paint – it takes time, introspection, thought. Knitting can be more automatic and less contemplative. The three of us have our moments, and it is not always easy or pleasant, but I think we are all working toward a common goal of peaceful co-existence.