2023 has been a strange year for me. In many ways it has been productive in creativity as I have seen advances in skills I have been focused on. In other ways it has been limiting, too, when focus is more in one area than another. I am the kind of person who is interested in too many things but who does not seem to excel at any one thing in particular. That can get pretty frustrating.
And then there was The Fall. Breaking my left arm was pretty traumatic in a lot of ways. The esposo is still trying to recover from it because the vacation we had looked forward to, one of relaxing and traveling and visiting new places and seeing old friends, turned into several weeks of taking care of me and schlepping me here and there. His time off never really happened, so there is the mental and emotional repression that ultimately does no one any good. He has taken the next few weeks off, and I hope that will help ease things and take off pressures which are there. At least I can get here and there on my own, although we both fear another fall. I have broken 3 bones in the last 5 years because of falls.
As far as myself, I am really bored with my ongoing fear of falling, and the self-assignment for the next several weeks is to watch YouTube videos about balance and strengthening muscles, taking a “How to Walk” class if possible, and moving into forcing myself to do things that frighten me. I have a dislike of being out of shape and incapable of independence so hopefully this will motivate me into a more active approach to these things. For the first time in my life I have felt old, and normally I am emotionally and intellectually about 12 . . .
Creativity, too, needs some sort of order! I keep saying “schedule yourself” - and by this I mean making deliberate choices for time to do all the different things which interest me. Let’s see what happens! I want to do more photography, travel, sewing, knitting, gardening, and of course drawing, painting, learning. My own personality is set toward doing the daily chores and drudgery before having fun, and that is okay as it weighs me down if I know a pile of something needs to be done.
For example, since August, I have not really addressed paperwork as I usually do, and that is because my daily life was filled with exercises, occupational therapy appointments, dental appointment, doctor appointments, and home health care appointments. Yesterday, I pulled out all the things I needed to sort through. I sorted them and shredded until the 20+ year old shredder up and died. (New one arrives today.) I logged expenses and so on. Fortunately, it wasn’t a horrible process as I have kept up with the daily stuff quite well, but the paper stuff needed sorting and discarding. It feels good to have that done before 2024 shows up! And I have a bog full of papers still needing shredding, so I can practice on the new shredder, and see if it works. What fun!
And so, it is New Year’s Eve. We will be going to the Descanso Gardens to enjoy the Enchanted Forest of Light. We did it a few years ago, and I thought it a lovely way to end a year. I hope that 2024 is not as rough, and realistically, while tough in many ways for my immediate circle, it is far easier and pleasant than it has been for many. I hope that changes, but sadly, I do not think it will.
Ink, Yarn & Beer 
I heartily endorse your program of working on balance! It will do you good physically, and even more, mentally. It will set your year on a firm foundation, literally. I have some fears, both rational and irrational. When I gird my mental loins and face fears and work on them, the results are positive. More frequently, I put off dealing with them, and that’s not what I should do.
Best wishes for a positive and healthy 2024!
2023 was a tough year for many of us. It’s funny how negativity can cast a shadow on positivity. Even though I had a great trip to Australia and cruised around New Caledonia, I mostly lament being rearended by a large pickup truck and trailer that totaled my car and left me with severe whiplash and put me in a big Epstein Barr cycle. My goal for 2024 is to do whatever I can to heal and resume normal activities. I mostly miss walking with my camera. So here’s to a healthy and amazing 2024!!
Thanks, Kathy, for the words of encouragement. I think avoiding things is in some ways a way to heal and get well enough to face tough things, whether rational or irrational. Emotions are difficult so avoiding the harder ones can be a way to find a path through them once the fears are a bit more settled. Patience with ourselves is as important as patience with others!
And a happy, positive, and healthy 2024 to you and yours, too!
Yes, the negative can definitely override the positive – I think because it is more emotionally intense. Like you, fear is sort of making its mark on my daily life, but know that fear is there – as Churchill said, “Fear is the only thing we have to fear” – well, you know its there, recognize it, and carry on. If you don’t, you give in. Healthy fear is good, but overriding fear can be crippling. Like you, my goal is to heal and progress, albeit with a bit more caution. Take you walks, take your camera, return to your normal (ie fake it till you make it!). I will do the same. Meanwhile, a wonderful 2024 to you and yours, too.
💕😍
I hope things improve drastically with your arm issues, and that you and Esposo can get back to normal. Hopefully you can retake the vacation at some point. Have as Happy New Year as possible for now XX
Wishing you a very happy New Year, fully healed and fearless!
I have a lot of things I’d like to do in 2024 but the one thing I really want is to find the time to do them (or at least figure out the means to organise my life in a way that doesn’t fritter away any free time on pointless procrastination, as I am generally want to do. 🙂 )
I get you there about getting a bit more organized but not so organized that fun becomes yet another thing to check off on the to-do list . . .
Thanks, Fraggy. I don’t know that we will retake the vacation. The flying from CA to Iceland and back in 3 days was exhausting. I think I am more willing to do it than my husband, and do have friends who do travel to and from Europe, but for now, this year is devoted to House Repairs and Other Such Ilk.
Happy New Year!