I haven’t posted in a long time, and in my opinion, the quality of my postings has declined quite a bit. The reason for this, in retrospect, is because the quality of my life, as I see it, has declined. With a grueling work schedule that left little time to think or enjoy life, it was in inevitable. At two points, I was ready to walk away from my job and into retirement, without notice – just “I’m done!” and a 180 degree turn.
Well, that didn’t happen. Instead, compromise: my Wednesdays end at 3:30 instead of 6:30. And that has done the trick. Interestingly, it has taken me about 8 weeks to adjust to this change. It was almost as if I had to get to know myself again. The first two weeks I was really argumentative, as if all my contained frustration had to come spilling out. Later, it was total self-indulgence – the pleasure of not doing anything, of being irresponsible. I think I needed to soak up freedom and look at my new open space of time. Little as that addition of time has been, I no longer feel as if I am living in a complete black box, lost in space, four days out of seven. Mere existence is hell . . . how do people in solitary confinement do? I would be dead, I am sure.
After emerging from this chrysalis of newfound time, my desires are once more moving outward. Escapism is rather over, and exploration and enquiry into the world around me is returning. I have been visiting friends, accepting social invitations, and taking up new challenges to creativity . . . and being ready and open to them all. Being locked into non-existence 4 days out of 7 oozed into the other 3 . . . and now existence is oozing back into all days of the week.
Consequently, this has been a year of stagnation and extinction. Stealing time in my own life is not pleasurable, but degrading because work degraded my life. Functioning, sure, but living? thriving? enjoying? Not at all.
And I plan to change that. The goal is simple – even minimal – but the goal is to have something creative in my hand everyday. This can be coloring in a coloring book, to sewing or knitting, to photography, to taking some kind of workshop, to hiking. In other words, a return to the world around me, away from a vortex of nothingness.
It is my hope to log this journey more clearly here at Ink, Yarn & Beer.
Ink, Yarn & Beer 
keep writing, I’ll keep reading
Thanks for the comment – I appreciate it, need it, and will heed it! 😉
Now I’m confused! I’m always seeing posts from the Glass Aerie, at least I think I do. I am not happy in work either, and 1 yr ago I dropped to part time, but there is still so much home-work even on days off, and sometimes I have to work days off too. So have handed my notice in all together, which is scary and liberating all at the same time. Enjoy your new found freedom!
Hi Fraggy! I used the same image for The Glass Aerie, and for Ink, Yarn & Beer. So, you are not crazy…I am not going crazy any more (at least not at the mo), just revamping my life a bit. If you go to the top of the “Ink” blog, you will find a link to the “Glass” blog. This is the first post to “Ink” in about 6 weeks.
I admire you for your handing in your notice. I take it you are a nurse of some kind. Me, former x-ray tech teacher, and now an ESL and academic studies teacher. My schedule was M-Th, 8-630, and usually working through lunch as well. It got to be too much.
My decision is to do something everyday with my hands. I was going to lay out a pattern to cut, but access to the iron was blocked by a pile of laundry and the student in the house, whose clothes these are, was writing an online midterm, so I did not disturb. Instead, I picked up a pair of socks I am knitting and am doing rather fancy stranded work while I watch the TV show “Hinterland.”
I plan to work until I retire in about 3 years . . . so I gotta get back into doing creative things, such as sewing and knitting and writing and painting . . . even signed up for a 2-day workshop in July in a town nearby. I’ll become an old lady painter, so I need to relearn the craft now, so I can fill my life and studio with all sorts of silly things!
For me when work got too big I gave up making mosaic furniture and house accessories, I am looking forward to being an old lady mosaicist in the future, but I will have to find some form of part time work before properly retiring.
Well, I think that sounds jolly good!
Yes me too! All my tiles and equipment is still up in the loft, waiting for me. But still, not to get ahead of myself, me and my camera for now. I’ll look forward to your paintings and knitting and doings. 😊